Silence

To The Man In The Moon  - 

Sometimes...trying so hard for everyone else...makes things so much harder on myself. 
And when there's no one to see me or hear me or hold me or support me or even just love me for a momen..and ground me... well  instead of getting upset..I give in to the silence. The quiet disregard. Because why keep making everyone else feels happy and secure when no one bothers to make sure I do?
There is so much more than this...
I am so much more.
I am slowly trying to stop this mess. To pick up the pieces and wipe away my own damn tears. Because I am worth it.
Dad, I always dreamed of having what you and mom had...or my own  version of it. 
But I dont know how to do this. 

I wasn't going to write.. my prayers seemed more than enough the last few days. 
But as things are stretching on... all I can think about is...
All the things I should be doing...
And all the ways I need to make myself happy instead of sitting back and waiting for things to happen for me. 


Sometimes I guess it just fucking hurts...and rather than be chastised for my pain I'd rather just silently suffer till I can pick myself up again.  

Your Gurl 
Silent..


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