bruised

Counting days, counting days
Since my love up and got lost on me
And every breath that I've been takin'
Since you left feels like a waste on me
I've been holding on to hope
That you'll come back when you can find some peace
'Cause every word that I've heard spoken
Since you left feels like an hollow street
I've been told, I've been told to get you off my mind
But I hope I never lose the bruises that you left behind
Oh my lord, oh my lord, I need you by my side
There must be something in the water
'Cause everyday it's getting colder
And if only I could hold you
You'd keep my head from going under
Maybe I, maybe I'm just being blinded
By the brighter side
Of what we had because it's over
Well there must be something in the tide
I've been told, I've been told to get you off my mind
But I hope I never lose the bruises that you left behind
Oh my lord, oh my lord, I need you by my side
There must be something in the water
'Cause everyday it's getting colder
And if only I could hold you
You'd keep my head from going under
It's your love I'm lost in
Your love I'm lost in
Your love I'm lost in
And I'm tired of being so exhausted
Your love I'm lost in
Your love I'm lost in
Your love I'm lost in
Even though I'm nothing to you now
Even though I'm nothing to you now
There must be something in the water
'Cause everyday it's getting colder
And if only I could hold you
You'd keep my head from going under
There must be something in the water
'Cause everyday it's getting colder
And if only I could hold you
You'd keep my head from going under.


I guess I'll stay and go with quiet surrender. No amount of want or struggle will change never getting an answer or dirction on some  plan I never will know. Because I feel like I am bracing g for the next words. He's not visiting. He's not coming. Because wanting and doing are two different things. And when I can't pretend to believe where does that leave me?

..why does it feel like the same cool indifference of my feelings..  not caring, no acknowledgement, ignoring, it sure feels like the same damn thing.

I'll keep hiding until I just can't hold it in anymore. Ill just explode and they can watch me try pick up all the pieces. 

No matter how much or how little I have and am..

I dont know how to do this. I think I am trying so hard and it seems I am only get more confused. 

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