Matt. Baby I feel crazy

🎶"Been sitting eyes wide open behind these four walls, hoping you'd call
It's just a cruel existence like there's no point hoping at all " 🎶

I realize that in relationships I tend to be the one who chases. I am the one who makes them feel wanted and needed. To give and love them more...but fuck
I want to feel that. I need to.
Instead of the expected...
Love me. 
Need me.
Want me.
Desire me 
Do for me 
Break me in the best ways
Like breaking down my want to please
Make me surrender and feel the pressure of your love and need to feel and be with me 

I need to be loved too much and too hard.
To push all these insecurities and feelings of being  unworthy away forever with you by my side.
I need you. I need to just have a minute where I can break down and not be trying so fucking hard. 
I need someone to hear me...see me and care that I am not good and just give me what I need back. 
I have been down the road of indifference and I hate feeling ignored. 
Wanting and needing someone and getting no response really fucks with my head. 
If I treated others with the same indifference would they feel the same or would everything have faded or ever sparked at all.  
Rejection really hurts. 
Someday maybe type of love and hopefully getting what I need hurts just as much maybe more cause it's all talk and no action and that's what has already fucking broken me.


Comments

  1. AnonymousMay 20, 2021 at 7:15 PM

    You are loved far more than you realize. You are a one in a million soul that lights up the hearts of those nearest & dearest to you. ��

    ReplyDelete

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