tired

To The Man In The Moon  -

I am better than the bullshit I smile through. 
Sometimes I chose others over myself and my feelings. And I tell myself that it's okay because I do it because I care about them and love them. Which honestly is the truth...when they love and care about me back. 
How I keep falling into the same patterns that fucked me up so much before I dont understand. I know things aren't the same. But the fear is the same. 


I keep trying to hold back and hold on. I keep swallowing back the pain and it's making me sick. 


I am tired of feeling like the problem. I'm tired of asking and waiting. I want to stop the merry-go-round and start taking steps towards something better. 
I have left space for the people I love but I'm tired of waiting. 
I've already seen how waiting for someone to get a clue turns out for me lol 
I dont have to wait for happiness, I just need to focus on taking it and making it for myself and for Liam. 
The worry should be for him and I. Everyone seems worried enough about themselves. I shouldn't need to.  Tomorrow is a new day. SMILE and fake it till we make it. 💪

I'm tired but I will fight and continue to do my best to have faith. 

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