same mistakes

To The Man In The Moon-
I am trying to give myself time. I am trying to give him time. I don't want my past issues to cloud things with him. My problem is the way thing are and are happening are triggering me. 
I want to make him happy. I am working on bettering myself and the way I am for us. I try and learn and understand him. I am just feeling a bit left out of all of it. 
Like who I am and what I desire is not important. 
There is a lot to learn but I feel no desire from him to be or do it. 
And it's triggering because that was part of what failed me. At some point I was the only one trying and making the other person feel wanted. And after everything I feel this sort of resentment for not being loved or desired. I have needs and wants. I don't like feeling like my wants and feelings are ignored or dismissed. He wants me to talk to him about it but it's hard because I don't want to put all of my issue on him when we are still trying to figure things out. I am having such a hard time. I don t want to make things worse or start an argument or make him feel defensive.  
The thing is the more I keep trying to do things for him sexually and reaching out to be close to him the more I feel like I am making the same mistakes I did with Dustin in allowing my needs to be pushed aside or unimportant because I will always be there and do things for him. Ugh so I just cry a lot. Alone and try and be understanding and compassionate about figuring out how to make each other happy and not have another one sided relationship. I just never thought it would be like this with him. 

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