Looking for Strength

To My Man in the Moon
Dear Dad,

Things are so effing complicated. I am so sleep deprived at this point, that rational thought is a luxury. I find myself ready to fly off the handle at any moment. My husband, Dustin and I are having marital issues that are further complicated by the fact that we are having parenting issues, and I am completely out of ideas as to what more I can do. You and mom are amazingly hard to live up to as parents. lol
It seems too much to ask for my poor baby to have two parents that love each other and get along. It's heart wrenching. I have such high hopes for this little boy. There is so much I feel like he is going to miss out on. Dustin has a problem, well multiple problems, but the first and foremost is that he doesn't stay awake and take care of Liam. He has some sort of an emotional block or something but he didn't talk to Liam for the longest time and even now its not a lot. He doesn't know how to comfort him, he doesn't wake up and take care of him, he falls asleep instead of taking care of him. He never listens to me in regards to Liam, or anytime else for that matter. I am terrified of leaving Liam with him alone.
I mean besides all of that, he is distant, self absorbed, negligent, irresponsible, uncaring, mean spirited, and unkind to me on a daily basis. I have tried talking with him, fighting with him, screaming, crying and everything in between and yet nothing changes. I am praying daily for a miracle. I am at a loss. I feel like I have been abandoned emotionally, and left to raise Liam all alone. Its breaking my heart that he is missing out on Liam. He is such an amazing little man and he is being such a dirt bag by not being there for his son. But I can't make him care about me or Liam. No matter how much I wish and pray for it.

Liam deserves a dad like the amazing man I had as a dad. He deserves more, and so do I. But what can I do? Ugh. I wish you were here. I need you.

All I can do is try and keep my head straight for Liam and put Liam's happiness first.

I love you! Send a little extra love/help our way if you can! We could use it.

Love,
Sondra

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