Saturday Hauntings

To The Man In The Moon -

I'm trying to write about the things that bother me. The things I don't get to talk about, talk through. The person I need to speak with is currently sleeping. Seems like a joke. That after everything I am with someone who also chooses to ignore life's problems and sleep. Maybe it's not Life's Problems. Maybe it's just me that they choose to avoid. 
Everything seems to end with the same results.
I traded one set of problems for a set of similar and technically worse problems. I don't know that I can even handle these thoughts right now. 
In fact. Nope. If he gets to ignore me I get too also.  I thought I was worth something. But truth hurts. 

Several hours later:

I am beyond frustrated at this point. I am a dark cloud. And I don't believe it to be of my own making. Liam is dark and stormy. He's frustrated by things that he won't share. Friends are a part of it, I know. He's not okay. And it's hard to see him being not okay and not being able to do anything about it. Everything I can think of is wrong or something he doesn't want to consider doing. I know, I am lame now. He's in pure teenage doom mode and there isn't a lot I can do to spin the mood wheel in a positive direction. I get it. I wish I could do something about it but I digress. 
No wonder the house is depressing and sad. There are disappointments all over the house. Much like the mountain of doom... aka the pile of clothes in our rooms. No one is happy to be here in this hell hole. 
I really need to sage the house and clean some of the dark energy that is flourishing in what is supposed to be our safe space. 
Where did hope and happiness go?
I don't even have the energy to fight it. 
It feels like a dark cold death is blanketing things. 
I am glad I set up an appointment with my therapist. I need to set one up with my psychiatrist too. I don't know what's going on but nothing is heading in a good direction and I don't want to continue on this path. 

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