Something In The Way

To The Man In The Moon  -
There is supposed to be an Eclipse tonight. Blood Moon. I will have to either stay up very late or get up very early if I want to see it. I tried something today and saged the house to cleanse and get rid of as much negative energy as I can. It feels like there is a lot of things attached to sadness, pain, loss, regret, separation. Lots of negative things holding on. With the Eclipse it seems time to let go and banish as much negativity as I can. 
I know there was a lot of happiness here, once. Since I am trying my damnedest to make this house feel like a home, a safe place, I hope that with the best intentions I will be able to change the feel of my home and give me some control and ownership over the insanity that is my life. 
I felt so much positivity last week. Not sure why it changed and sucked the hope right out of my heart. So I have been trying to protect my peace. Or whatever it is i have. 
I am trying to make peace with myself too. With my lonely. With my place in the world,
Im so tired of being stuck. Being leftover. 

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